Debs’ Story
Sometimes when the very thing you want deep down presents itself, you can feel a bit stuck with a whole load of questions and feelings that stop you from beginning. What if you fail? What if things go wrong? What if someone doesn’t like what you’re doing? What if you don’t like how it goes, and your own efforts don’t live up to your expectations? Debs’ story is about just that. It’s a story about not just beginning, but also, continuing…
‘THERE IS INDEED BEAUTY IN THE PROCESS.’
‘I now dream bigger, and trust the process... sometimes you have to go through the mess to get to the good stuff.’
Q
What was the catalyst for deciding something had to happen? Why did you start Ouching It?
A
Years ago my housemate and landlord (at the time), woke up one morning and radically decided to have a friend creatively express herself (for want of a different word) on our very smart, very large, skylight lit, kitchen wall! Literally, just chuck paint all over at it. The idea was to encourage her into doing murals in the future, and this invitation was apparently a way of her 'getting free' and exploring ideas. My Ouching It came from navigating the offence of it all! I was jealous of the freedom, offended by the marks.
Q
What happened and how did you Ouch It?
A
It was day one of 'the expression' and I had come into the kitchen and without any explanation… all I saw was childlike graffiti, in all honesty. My initial response was WTF!! and couldn't quite believe that she had allowed this to happen. And, on purpose! I was a freelance photographer working at home. A majority of my time was spent at the kitchen table spacing out into that big, white wall on a regular, procrastination basis. Me and that big blank wall of possibility were well acquainted. I was also a secretly smug artist who was terrified to paint, and hadn't done any painting in years (knowing that of course ONE DAY I would start again, and it would be amazing!!). So, this assaultment of 'art' that appeared on the wall, was bruising my artistic ego and offending me greatly. It was a defiant act of freedom, a carefree explosion of child-like colour and expression. It wasn't trying to be anything. It was incomplete, messy, and making me feel very uncomfortable. In short, I didn't like it.
“we all need someone to believe in us”
Q
Who did you Ouch It with and what did that look like?
A
The commencing of ‘The Ouch.’
I was plagued irrationally by this flipping wall for a good few hours, knowing that I would now be faced with it for however long I was living in this house! I’d be faced with irritation every time I made a cup of tea. I had to FACE IT.
Now, I know what you're thinking... 'You're so harsh towards this artist!' But, just to clarify. I love her very much, and she is in fact an incredible artist! And she’s since gone on to do murals, make childrens books, stunning totes and mugs etc. Truly amazing. BUT in my defence, this was years ago and the start and initial PROCESS of getting there, was messy. (Which aren't we all familiar with! Like all the time. Lol) . My Ouching It took place with my landlord and The Artist.
Firstly, my landlord explained in full Her Why... And when I heard the heart behind it, I was humbled and moved. My perspective and sight was dramatically transformed in that moment. I will always admire this quality in my friend and landlord, she's not afraid of 'walls', she is an advocate of freedom and exploration, and one of her most incredible gifts is encouragement and action. She told me how she had a dream about this artist, that she would bring freedom to others through her colour and play. That by giving her permission, this would activate her gift. We all need someone to believe in us. It needs to be okay to fail, to be messy, to play, to create and be child-like really, there is treasure when you return to that place. It's also just a wall, why not paint on it. When she spoke these words, I began to feel a flicker of excitement in my spirit, a peace and joy came over me and I even began to celebrate the liberating messy marks that had taken up my procrastination wall. And from that point, my gazing into that wall became the most extraordinary canvas of possibility and creative adventure. The Artist also played a huge part, when she invited me to join her and paint on the wall… .dream a little, play a little... It didn't take much before I began to see a bigger picture unfold. I was hooked. That wall became my playground, my therapy, my worship. Something that affected countless areas of my life.
Q
What changed after you Ouched it?
A
I got over a lot of fear. Fear of failure. Fear of trying things. Fear of painting. Fear of what people thought. I had begun to paint childlike, care-free marks on a kitchen wall, that just so happened to be a community hub... many people coming and going, commenting. Many loved it, many found the unfinished, abstract process unsettling. But wonderfully, I had got over myself!! and found myself simply not minding. I found a new freedom that began unlocking all kinds of other plans that I had no idea about. One evening we had a dinner party, and one of our guests was really inspired by the wall. Amazingly he ended up commissioning me to paint one in his kitchen! I got paid to do a mural. This was a significant moment, was I a muralist? I then got asked whether I would consider painting a 24-7 prayer room in a guest house in Bethlehem, as well as the separation wall directly opposite the guest house. It was an extraordinary experience. l was also asked to paint children's bedrooms in a Children’s Home in Sri Lanka.
Q
Where are you at now?
A
I am still building off the significance of that kitchen wall I got to live with and paint on for the four years I was in that home. Even though it is no longer there, it has enabled some wonderful commissions. I still get asked to do murals now. What is funny to me is that I used to be terrified of painting anything big! and now it's the other way round. Extraordinary how these things can be flipped, by people encouraging you and helping you see with new eyes, expanding the realms of possibility. I now dream bigger, and trust the process... sometimes you have to go through the mess to get to the good stuff. Art remains a therapy for me. My landlord and The Artist, as well as those who paid and invested in my creativity have played such a large role in enabling me to get to where I am now. I will forever be grateful.
‘There is indeed beauty in the process.’
Q
What do you think is going to happen?
A
[At Ouching It we like to hear about where people imagine or think they'll be in the future related to the topic they're sharing on. It’s powerful to say it out loud, what yuour hopes are for the future]
I believe this 'kitchen wall' is being expanded upon, evolving and growing into something so much bigger than one room. I dream of one day hosting a place that will have many rooms of inspiration and possibility. A place that enables freedom and connection to our Creator. A place to dream and to use our creativity to serve others. Over the last few years I have become somewhat of a visionary, I delight in tapestry, collaboration and connection. As a photographer I get to weave creativity through multiple precious memories and relationships, and wouldn't be surprised if each conversation, each trip is leading to something. To what is hard to articulate, but I love how work done years ago can come back around and form something else. Whatever happens, I'm not afraid to try, to fail, to explore something else. There is indeed beauty in the process.
Q
What encouragement would you give someone who is considering Ouching It?
A
Listen to people who love you, and give it a go! You are still loved, still worthy, still epic even if it doesn't turn out as planned or hoped... who knows in a few years time, it may be better than you could have ever thought to imagine!? Follow that still, small voice encouraging you to keep going.
Q
What’s your Ouching It anthem? What song would be on your Ouching It playlist?
A
Kygo, Whitney Houston - Higher Love
Debs can be reached for photography, murals, and other creative pursuits at deborahgrace.net